jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Boobs are out for the taking
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
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