absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
