Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
