it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
