I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
When did angry sex become our thing?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
