dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
