No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
