i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
