Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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