i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
