It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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