The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
