I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
