Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
She's JV to your varsity
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
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So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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