I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
