did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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