census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
