its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
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