i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
