It's Friday. Sex?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
