remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize