I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
