Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
