She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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