i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
