You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
