i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
