is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
