is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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