whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
