so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
