If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Randomize
