she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Just pee around me
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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