mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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