he wants to bone in the snuggie
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Randomize
