so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
