This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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