It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
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I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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