Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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