FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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