This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
