You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
