I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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