I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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