I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Still dying that you shit outside
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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