is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
