I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
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