hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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