so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize