I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Randomize
