So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You need Xanax blowdarts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
PANTIES FOUND
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