the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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