I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
