My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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