Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
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