Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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