hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize