You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
