I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
